The signs are apparent and yet we continue to push and swim upstream while our physical body gets depleted and screams to us to stop, our mental being is not focused and emotionally we feel drained.
Don´t we always believe we can go on and on without ever breaking like a Duracel batteried toy? When we think we are on top of our game not realizing that we have trained ourselves with our self care tools to be artificially powered up ´to work hard play hard´ and to ´follow the rat race´ for corporations, family office´s, opportunistic bosses or objectives not ours to own. Not even being our purpose and mission in life.
And then suddenly we find our bodies breaking down with disease, our minds clouded with anxiety and overwhelmed with emotions - Burnout!
I share with you here what I have experienced in burnouts throughout my life and I am currently undergoing to avoid.
Read, listen within if these words resonate with you and ACT! As you are the only one who can pull the plug!
Tip #1 - Observe
Observe yourself and how your sleep patterns, fatigue and anxiety levels are. Whether you feel fear of not being able to deliver something to someone and meet the expectations.
We have trained ourselves to continuously having to proof to others that we are deserving of love, attention, to be listen and acknowledged. Not understanding that the core fear here is: ´the fear of not being good enough´ which mainly stems from childhood trauma received between 0 and 7 years old having received conditional but not unconditional love.
Now, observe are you stressing yourself out to meet the expectations of your boss at work while you are lying with fever in bed? Is this healthy? And supports the the higher purpose of self love and care? NO!
Tip #2 - Setting boundaries
Once you realise that this entire culture for high performance is just toxic and depleting our humanity from discernment on how to be able to love oneself more. We realise that ´setting our boundaries is key.
And people won´t like you setting boundaries, especially the narcissistic psychopaths that have indulged in your endless giving nature to perform and give more and more every time.
Traumatised beings with the fear of not being good enough are prime target for these narcissistic psychopaths and they will try to make you feel bad and victimize themselves. Be aware. Still ´No´ is a complete sentence and in order to protect ourselves from burning out, we need to learn very quickly to say ´no´.
"NO Is a complete sentence. " – Megan LeBoutillier
Tip #3 - Get used to the feeling to not be the favourite any more
Once you said ´no´, become used to it not to necessarily be the favourite employee, person, friend, student, family member ... any more, as you ´rocked the boat´ and it is indeed OK. The people pleasing overgiving attitude will not help us to prevent a burnout but even drive us faster to the abyss until we literally get physically sick. That is where tumors, cancer, ulcers, auto immune disorders pop up from nowhere. The only person to be able to prevent and heal this is ´you´. No, one else as we have allowed it to happen by not setting our boundaries at the first place.
Tip #4 - Find Grace in the process
How we deal with adversity, rejection, abandonment is mainly constraint by our previous traumas and level of their healing. Trusting there is something higher than oneself, having faith in god, the universe, spirits, the divine, something greater than oneself. Helps us to accept and surrender to the outcome, whatever will happen once we have stood up for oneself and set our boundaries. GRACE is such a wonderful term to describe exactly how we can stand tall and speak and act out of discernment.
Tip #5 - Pull the plug
Once setting your boundaries and avoiding a meltdown with burnout, it is of essence to know when the situation really changes and shifts or when it is only patched up, and we have to continuously battle through to be able to be listened, acknowledged and be respected. There is no need to further swim upstream and go against resistance. This is the time to know when to ´pull the plug´ and level up, move forwards and continue staying on the true path of self love and self care.
If we do not ,we find ourselves soon back at the crossroads and can this time not avoid a burnout.
Have trust that if one door closes another opens.